New! "spoon charms!

I have a small charm swap (only 11) due on April 1st, so I combined my mini brass spoons with some brass bees, brass wire, amber colored glass drops and swarovski crystals and came up with these:

This is the art card I made to attach each one to for presentation:

Renata's "Knitter" Doll" ....i'm home again....

Well I am home! I got back yesterday...it is so hard to leave my dad - seems like I never get to spend any quality time with him - and he has so much to be taken care of. While I was away I also got a job offer that I am considering - it starts in May and goes until September....but more about that later if the details can be worked out and it comes thru....
I will be spending today catching up on my email, so please bear with me if I haven't replied to you yet....internet availability was pretty sketchy while I was away....
When i got home I had a package waiting for me from my friend Renata. I met Renata in a "healing doll" round robin several years ago, when she was living in Brazil. This last year Renata moved to the USA with her boyfriend and daughter. Don't ask me why, but she RAKed me this gorgeous museum quality doll - that SHE MADE! Everywhere you look are fantastic details! The doll has crocheted and knitted clothes, a lovely painted face, and stitches on her hand. She is seated on a wooden box full of yarn. She is called "the knitter" because she is knitting . All over are wonderful embellishments - rolled and woven hair, a red dragonfly under her knee, and tiny hair ornaments.....
Here's the whole doll - click on the pics to enlarge.

This is a close up of the face....
....the hair her feet and legs - see the dragonfly stamped into the red under her knee? This is the front of her blouse - part crocheted and part knitted...
....and this shows the "stitches" on her hand and her knitting....
I showed her to my DH and he was blown away by her - he said he is getting her a plexiglass case so she can be displayed properly!

This is a necklace I finished. It is in the same style as the "lucky in love" earrings only it has a crow and lampworked eyeball beads. The chain elements are fine silver.

I'm off - again!

Well, today I will be going back to see my dad and move him BACK to his old house. ...so if I don't respond to emails or comments right away, it's because I don't have internet access.
He is unhappy at his new home. It is beautiful, great food, great care - but he is still lonely - and he says he would rather be lonely near family and friends than with a bunch of strangers who don't really care about him . It should be an easy move because everything is already sorted. His old house has been freshly painted and the carpets cleaned, so that shouldn't be so bad either. We are getting him a "first alert" pendant - he's already used to wearing one.
Oh well....what ya gonna do?...we just want him happy....and safe.

Simple earrings.....

Here's something new to look at so maybe you'll forget the ugly necklace.....
the first is a spoon earring...i've only made one - tonight i'll make the matching one. they are a gift for a friend of mine who has a thing about spoons and the "spoon theory"....they have yellow colored niobium earwires so they are non reactive with your ears, brass hammered wire, swarovski crystals and a mini brass spoon......The spoon is fairly light weight, but i guess it could be worn alone as a pin or a pendant...... ....and this is a pair of earrings I call "the secret". It is made with glass furnace beads, brass wire, fine silver beads, swarovski crystals, and carved bone monkey beads. I used brass wire instead of fine silver because i wanted to put niobium earwires on them and niobium doesn't come in silver, only yellow/red/purple/blue/green and teal! I should have been finishing up my tote, or the journals i am working on, or a peyote necklace I'm midway thru....but no, I choose simple distraction.......

It's HIDEOUS, it's REPULSIVE...but is it UGLY?

I have been working feverishly to complete my entry in the 2008 Ugly Necklace Contest sponsored by "Land of Odds" - it's due to them no later than the 15th. Click on the link to read all about it: http://www.landofodds.com/store/uglynecklace.htm They will be selecting 10 finalists, and then the finalists will be posted and anyone who wants to can vote on their favorite one. My necklace is a "Hawaii Souvenir and Photo Memorial Road-Kill Necklace Lei". It is meant to wear anytime of the year. (yeah right - it was really hard to even pick it up) It had to be accompanied by a poem.....the poem pretty well sums it up ( click to enlarge).
And here's a photo of the necklace.
Just so you know, the critters were dried, sterilized and microwaved before being encased in epoxy. I have close-ups...but they're so gross I put the pics in a slide show. BE FOREWARNED! it really is YUCKY!

.........but is it Ugly enough?

OH mEYE! doll

Here are some pics of a "doll" i made for my friend Joanne. Unfortunately after i stuffed her, i wanted the seams to be flattened out so that the doll edges would be even and round. I had to adjust the height of the heat press to acommodate the thickness of the stuffing - she was nice and round then. When I opened the heat press the doll was totally flat - about 3/8 of an inch, and some of the stuffing inside had melted and was hard! ...I sent her to Joanne anyway.
The eyeball is some of my reworked glass.

....skull and crows

Today I had to go to our local dump and empty our trash. We'd had fresh alaskan king crab about a week ago, so the carcasses had gotten pretty ripe. We don't have pick up service in our neighborhood, so you take your trash to the "refuse depository" which is actually a huge chute that they drive a garbage truck under and then you throw your trash down the giant chute and it falls right into the bed of the truck. When i got there a sign was up that said "no dumping" and there were red cones around the chute. Other people were there dumping their garbage, so I looked for the garbage man who oversees the dump, but he wasn't in his office....The chute was almost overflowing, and I could hear someone working on it from down below - so I guess it was broken and they were trying to fix it....but geesh, I couldn't head back home with those disgusting cans of rotting yuck.......so I grabbed my stinky trash barrels and dumped them anyway - and then I hightailed it to my truck and sped away........
Sorry sorry sorry - that was more info than you needed to know. Just so your visit here isn't a total waste, here are a few pics of a necklace I slapped together while I waited for yet another coat of resin to dry on my "ugly necklace". The peyote stitched tubes I had already made but never used, so I just strung them on memory wire with mini dice, porcelain crows and a raku porcelain skull with a few amethysts. The clasp is a glass dichroic cabochon that has been beaded. My DH wants to know why everything I make lately seems so goth and/or morbid.
I have no clue what he is referring to.

A DAY TO MYSELF....

Today I had a "playdate" with myself. No DH. No Dog. No Girlfriends. .....I felt guilty going off alone without having something I "must" accomplish - but my DH insisted that I should do it.
So I did. I thought I would have a photo safari and for once i could take my time and wander wherever i wanted to .
I went to my favorite beach - Kealia. It was an amazingly gorgeous day and the beach was no exception. That deep cobalt blue ocean that only happens on Kauai. I parked the car on one end and since today was "exercise" day, I left my stuff in the car and went on a run, armed only with a plastic bag to put found treasures in and my camera. My camera? My camera? Where's my camera? Oh great - i HAD FORGOTTEN MY CAMERA. I had hoped to cross the road over to a wonderful cemetery with lots of stone angels, but that was pointless now. Unbelievably idiotic..... So I'm sorry to say there won't be any pictures of this adventure....
I hiked along the beach anyway about a mile and then I stopped to look thru driftwood. I came across a pile of wood that someone had "dumped". It was long pieces and veneer pieces and blocks of beautifully grained hardwood - obviously leftover cuts from someone's house installation. I put as many as i could into my bag and then loaded up my arms with the long pieces and then trudged all the way back to my truck ...was I nuts? Then I picked up my beach chair, towel and tote and headed to my favorite swimming spot next to the rocks.
The beaches on Kauai have no smell - probably because there is NO seaweed. So you won't find that familiar beachy scent here. I immediately went in to the water to cool off...i love to float on my back and just let myself drift (today was perfect - no waves at all!)......
Anyway, just out past the rocks, maybe 100 ft from me - is a pod of DOLPHINS....like maybe 50 of them! ...and they are jumping in tandem, like rows of Busby Berkeley chorus girls kicking their legs, only it's their whole bodies, glistening silver and blue, sailing thru the air..... unbelievable! marvelous!
I got out of the water and got my binoculars so I could watch them closer. It was such a thrill to witness them having so much fun.
I spent about 4 hrs at the beach total - munching on my picnic lunch and sipping my icy lemon water. lots of watching, reading, writing, collecting, observing. I came home a bit burnt I'm sorry to say - but it was a very relaxing and soul soothing experience.
No where to go, no one to see, nothing to get done. A perfect day!

My Contribution to "Pink Artist"...finally!

For some reason I thought my fabric square for the "Pink Artist" event, to benefit Breast Cancer, wasn't due until the March 8th, but i was wrong! It was due March 1st - so I had to hustle. I wanted to cover the photo with vinyl and stitch - but for the likes of me I couldn't get my sewing machine to sew thru all the layers on something so tiny. So instead I did a tape transfer transparency - only I ended up not removing the paper.
This is my 2" x 2" creation - a celebration of my mother:
And this is the accompanying card that explains my intentions.

OLD and NEW ART

This is the last painting I did - over 30 years ago, until i started painting again last year. (thank you DJ!) I found it amongst my mothers things when i was cleaning out her house. She used to have it on the fireplace wall in the family room when she lived in San Jose. She loved odd.
I have been working on a tote ala DJ Pettitt, who has been so kind to tutor me. However, it is turning out very similar to a bird painting I did a while back......so much for stepping out of the box! Here are some photos of the project in various stages.

Front images- playing with the layout....
Back image
I've finally finished the art work and am ready to assemble the whole thing.
Here's the finished art work
This is the front This is the back
The bird still needs a pearl sewn on that it will be holding in it's beak) . I will probably coat the whole thing with polymer medium and stick it in the heat press because this will give it a durable sort of washable finish.......
...and this is the lining. The inside will have two compartments and a zippered pocket. I thought I had a lot of zippers around, but I couldn't find any!....so now the project is on hold until i get a 6" zipper. Then it will be sewn together, grommets added for the straps and will have a magnetic closure.
I'm making a second one too. I hope it turns out way different. No birds, no flowers. I'm doing an "under the sea" version.
I have also been working on a very odd project that I just finished, but no pics until I send it to the recipient who would look first if i posted it. THAT'S YOU JOANNE!
..on another note - I am having a real problem painting "free" as in "free form". When I took DJ's painting class, she just paints - you know, slaps the paint anywhere, let's it dry, puts on more paint, builds layers. Her art turns out gorgeous. It is sort of realistic Picasso. You can see immediately the flower is a tulip, but it is done with a minimum of strokes and they are painted boldly and quickly. They are not stuffy or burdened with precision. Yet the look perfect. Even her free motion sewing enhancements again are not exact, but they look great. I'm not trying to imitate DJ, I know I have my own style.....and when i illustrate using colored pencils or ink, or even with collage, i find myself very free and outside the box. but painting - my painting and free motion sewing turns out like i am trying too hard. It is very old lady like and stiff and locked up ...well... i just have a terrible time coloring outside the lines.......
yikes? ..... a carry-over from kindergarten?

100th Blog Post Winner!

This morning I put all of the comment names in a hat (no, not really, I don't have a hat)....anyway, i put them on tiny pieces of paper, shook them in my cusped hands and let one fall out.
Joanne..... it's you Joanne. I am sending you something very odd and weird and typical me. Nothing practical. Nothing you've seen before. (well, maybe parts of it)....
Thank you everyone for entering and check back often !

I'M A PINK ARTIST ... Art to find a CURE!

I just joined a way cool project put together by Monica Magness from "girl-gone-thread-wild". She is making a giant doll to be decorated with 2" x 2" squares of art work made by anyone who wants to join.. The doll will be sent to Art Doll Quarterly and then auctioned on Ebay for Susan G Komen for the Cure Breast Cancer Charity. Follow this link for details.

http://girl-gone-thread-wild.blogspot.com/2008/01/pink-artist-community-art-doll-project.html

I won!....PLUS-My 100th Blog Giveaway!

The "ONE WORLD,ONE HEART" giveaway was loads of fun, and i'm happy to report I won 2 giveaways!
I won a beautiful "Serenity" plaque from Laura Bray
http://katydiddys.blogspot.com/2008/02/happy-valentines-day.html
and a gorgeous wall art/scarf from Janet Nambian of "my thoughts, my reflections"
http://j3net.blogspot.com/
Thank you Laura and Janet - I am thrilled to have been chosen as your winner!

Today is my 100th blog post......I can hardly believe it! So, in celebration of that fortuitous feat, I am having a GIVEAWAY- if you comment to this post by the 23rd of this month (next week!) i will draw a name on Sunday Feb 24th and you can win a weird- o piece of art from me. Sorry, everything I make is a bit off. If you are the winner I will send you one of the various things I have lying around half finished....but I will finish it!....( think......a heart pendant, an eyeball pin, tooth and nail necklace, lucky in love earrings., moonlit butte notecards......something along those lines....you can make a request......)
This time you have a better chance - far less competition!
Good Luck!

I HAVE PICKED A WINNER!

Using the random number picker I picked a winner of for one of my glass pendants.
And the winner is:

Angelina of Angelina's Trinkets!
Thank you to everyone who entered.....I can't wait to do this again next year - it has been great fun!

A MOUNTAIN TOP VIEW...aging continued.....

This was sent to me by my friend Jackie Smith.....how true it is!

A MOUNTAINTOP VIEW

A police car pulled up in front of an older woman's house, and her husband climbed out. The polite policeman explained that "this elderly gentleman" said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home."How could it happen?" asked his wife. "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How could you get lost?"Leaning close to her ear so that the policeman couldn't hear, he whispered, "I wasn't lost - I was just too tired to walk home." These bodies become less cooperative as we age. For some, work becomes less fun and fun becomes more work. One older friend commented, "I've reached the age where the warranty has expired on my remaining teeth and internal organs." But I like the spirit of Charles Marowitz. "Old age is like climbing amountain," he says. "The higher you get, the more tired and breathless you become. But your view becomes much more extensive." Atop the mountain, one has a better view of the world. One can see above the differences that divide people. One can better see beyond petty hurts and human fragility. Atop the mountain, one has a longer view of the past and can therefore understand the future with more clarity. Atop the mountain, one looks down on dark clouds of gloom and despair and fear and notices that they are neither as large nor as ominous as those beneath them would believe. It is also clearer that however dark they may appear, they too, are fleeting and will someday pass. George Bernard Shaw said, "Some are younger at seventy than most at seventeen." I think it is because they have a broader outlook. It will take a lifetime to climb the mountain, but, for me, the view will be worth the journey.-- Steve Goodier

I want to discuss hormones. I believe hormones are the key to quality old age. I know, there is a lot of controversy about this. So bear with me, and be forewarned! I'm very opinionated on this! ...and i tend to ramble on and go on sidetrips during my diatribes.
A huge study that came out several years ago indicated that hormone therapy treatment can lead to heart attacks and strokes. So women immediately were taken off of their hormones. But the study was flawed.....no one ever tells you that. They only used synthetic hormones....and no effort was made to balance the hormones according to what each woman was lacking. I have read a lot about this, including medical journals. I even got my doctor to acknowledge that bio identical hormones work differently than synthetic hormones - and that no study will be done because there is no money in it for the pharmaceutical companies. She also told me that because of that study most doctors have to recommend that most women do not take hormones, because if a woman took the hormones on the doctors recommendation , the doctor could be sued later if the woman had a heart attack.
I have 4 sisters and I am the only one taking hormones. I am the guinea pig, i say! But hey, I watched my mom have a quality of life with hormones and a lack of quality of life without them. When I first became peri menopausal, I had hot flashes 20-30- times a day. I was getting no sleep. I tried soy, cohosh, flax seed - you name it, i tried it. some "seemed" to help - then nothing helped. I was working a job and no way could i do my job and not get a good nights sleep. So my doctor recommended effexor - yes, effexor for hot flashes. Effexor is an anti depressant like prozac. I'd never had one before and I have to say - my hot flashes went away - totally - immediately.....and I felt good - nothing, I mean NOTHING bothered me. But when I finished the job I decided I didn't want to be on an antidepressant for hot flashes - it was just covering up the symptoms, not alleviating the source of the problem. (Aah- getting off of Effexor - that was a tough one)
ok I'm going to deviate a bit on the topic.......why should a woman take hormones? well to me, and this is just for me, we have certain "normal levels" of hormones in our bodies. All hormones sustain life - quality life. If you are lacking a major hormone, like insulin, it is immediately life threatening....no one balks about giving you proper amounts of insulin so you won't die. .. and it is BALANCED for each individual for optimum results. But minor hormones, like estrogen, progesterone and testosterone - the levels that are "appropriate" are based on how old you are, based on the average of the amount of that hormone that most women have at that age. If you're not ovulating and are only 30, then so and so is a normal level, when you ovulate certain levels go up, others down. But when you get to menopause, you stop ovulating altogether, and although your body continues to make small levels of the hormones for a while, the hormone levels in your body now drop to the "i'm not ovulating" levels, and this is considered normal for your age, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Huh? Women used to die by the time they were 60 or 65 - but most don't anymore! But the same medical thinking applies to other hormones, like thyroid. It's supposed to be lower as you get old......... Does that mean these levels are ideal for continued quality of life? I THINK NOT! But that's what all the tests say. Hormone levels of next to nothing for estrogen after age 55 - that's pefectly normal. yeah right. who came up wth this? That's the right level because all 55yr olds have that level? This just my opinion, but I think this kind of hormone logic is pure bunk! ... in the garden, you "dead head " plants, because by removing the dead flowers the plant is prolonged into making more flowers and doesn't go to seed. Removing the dead flowers tricks the plant into making more plant hormones that keep the plant ...ALIVE! Lacking sex hormones may not kill you immediately, but it is the beginning of a slow death. Those hormones keep our muscles and skin and brain cells well oiled. ...Menopause is a "normal" part of life. But my mom had a hysterectomy at 36 and was put on hormones and she never went thru typical menopause. Menopause is "normal" because that is just the way IT IS....because that's the way IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN. But women are changing......the average age of menstruation, when I was a teenager, was 14. Now it's 11! ... (is that from fake hormones in milk?...oops, that's another discussion)
I've yet to find a doctor - gynocologist or endocrinologist - who is willing to bring my hormones to the same levels as when I was 30 (although I've read and /or gone to a few of those who said that was their specialty -there are a lot of whacko quackos out there) ......... and quite frankly I don't want my period back and it scares me to experiment that much. But I might try it if I could find a doctor who was willing to monitor me and teach me how to know when my levels were off and balance me and was legit.
I do know that the bio identical hormones I take - biest (estrogen in cream form) from a compounding pharmacy and prometrium (progesterone capsule) have helped my moods, my skin and my hot flashes. I believe they also keep my mind a bit sharper and they keep "dryness" at bay. But I take them basically on my own without much guidance - my doctors - past and present - have only prescribed them because I asked for them. They don't really believe in their usefulness and I find that i am much more well read and informed than they are. (heaven forbid I mention a book on bioidentical hormones written by Suzanne Somers -there goes my credibility!) So i can only say I'm "balancing" my hormones based on how I feel, not on facts. Sometimes if I'm under a lot of stress I take a little more or if I start to have more hotflashes I adjust the amount I am taking. But the amounts are so low they barely show up in lab tests. ....and I will add that all of my doctors have also said that once I reach age 60 I should probably go off of the hormones because I won't need them any more. Hah!
Men start to lose hormone levels too - but ever notice how most men look younger than women the same age? and how about men being fertile until they die? that is definitely not the same as women! Seems to me that medicine is ever changing and what is a fact today isn't tomorrow and then the next day it is "fact" again. They really don't know. How bizaare is that that in 2008 so few studies have been done on women about women?
.....so there you have it....everything you ever wanted to know about my opinion on hormones and me! .............and the great experiment continues.....

what do you think?

Things No One Ever Tells You About Getting Old.....

I have decided to do an in depth discussion on my feelings about aging. There are many many parts to this discussion. I hope to eventually cover exercise, skin, hormones, sex -all of it. There is so much that no one talks about and is not written anywhere. Especially for women...and there is soooo little research that has been done on it. I mean, it is 2008 and there are still no answers, no real info, and doctors are dishonest just in case their common sense advise proves wrong and they get sued for malpractice. Doctors would rather err on the accepted side of a controversy that use obvious experience and observation. I will be using myself as an example, and would value your input - so please comment away! I am learning here, too.....
Today I am mainly going to just talk about exercise...although I do ramble into other aspects.
But first a sort of "prelude", cuz that's where my thoughts have gone.....
Having lost my mother a year and a half ago really put aging and mortality into focus for me. I guess she's on my mind because her birthday is coming up - Feb 22nd. That combined with moving my 87 yr old father has brought this topic to center front again for me. I thought about it occasionally before then, but as long as mom was still around, I could still be a little girl. I could fight with my sisters and she would mend the fences, I could call her anytime and tell her my boring and absurd fears or problems and she would listen and tireslessly advise. She would come and visit and take care of me or my family at the drop of a hat. Sheesh - she even came with me as a "nanny" for my boys for 3 months when I went to work in Boston! (boy was that fun!) She was obviously immortal and thus....... so was I. When she was well, before she got sick, I asked her about aging. (Actually, I alsways asked elderly relatives about getting old - as a child I was very curious - but more on that later).
OK. the truth. Aging is inevitable. No where have I found a book that tells me what those white spots are, how come there are hairs on my eyelids., where did those little skin "tags" come from. ...etc. etc. Even the doctors I've gone to have very vague answers. I may feel like I'm 20 (in my mind, that is) but my body knows better. Things ache when I use them. I have a longer recovery time when i work hard. I need more sleep but seem to be getting less.,,,And my brain function is anything anything but sharp as a tack. At least it feels that way sometimes. (I don't know, maybe I was just as scattered when I was younger - LOL-others tell me I was) - but now I notice it. Aging is something I have thought about for a long time. I have read close to every book on the subject - Lee, Northrup, Somers, Posner, Wright, etc ad nauseum. But I am not quoting books here. I am commenting on my own personal observations about ME and my relatives and friends. But mostly ME. Parts of books are interesting, but there is so much controversy and so many theories between books that after reading I am once again left with the truth that there are simply no facts, and no answers. At this point I have to take the parts in books that seem to apply to me and try them out, experiment. I personally am convinced the key here is hormones. But that is a HUGE topic for me, HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and its controversy and all that. I'll cover that topic another day..... maybe tomorrow.
OK. back to exercise. After age 40 give or take a few years, muscle mass starts to turn to fat ( READ: chunky pitted cellulite) whether you like it or not. Exercise can help stave this off tremendously - but we're not talking about the regular exercise you did in your 30's that kept you strong and shapely, we're talking aerobics 5 days a week and a weight work out for over an hour 3-4 times a week. Work- we're talking about real work here! And here's the real kicker - if you undertake a really active work out, like I did, in my late 40's early 50's, when you stop - like I did - for just 8 weeks......all of that muscle mass turns to fat fat fat- jiggly gross fat and cellulite . ....and that old exercise routine just doesn't cut it anymore to get it back to muscle. and now you've stretched skin that has lost it's elasticity and doesn't bounce back taut, so you have sagging knees? yuck! ....I can lightly pull the top of my thigh and presto! the cellulite seems to disappear.... would that be a thigh lift? same thing on my arms, my face, my butt! (I can't believe how much my jaws have "fallen" in the last year....) I thought - I'll exercise more and harder. But it doesn't seem to work like it did before. ...and I had to be careful or I'd pull a muscle easier. ..and it was tiring...and it was boring and I just don't feel like doing it! I no longer can go on a that favorite fast diet and lose those extra 5 lbs that turned to 10 that turned to 15. My bodies simply doesn't metabolize and work the same as it did before. No one ever ever mentioned to me that I would need to INCREASE my exercise as I got older...and from my experience even this is no guaranty you will even begin to maintain your body muscle and tautness. I'm sure it's from the change in hormones that wreak havok with my mood, my energy, my skin, my mind!....my ability to maintain muscle. My childbearing days our over, and like a plant, I am going to seed!........and eventually that means I am going ...to....die.
Several years ago Jamie Lee Curtis, the actress, did a photo spread in Vanity Fair where she showed her body as it was. It was a very brave and vulnerable thing to do. Up to this point she had been an active exerciser and her body was always in super taut shape. But after she turned 50, her priorities changed....as have mine. She didn't want to spend hours exercising everyday when she could spend time with her family, her hobbies, her work. In my case it was spending time with my art. And so she stopped. She continued to do enough exercise to keep her heart and bones strong, but she gave up on carving out a perfect body. ....and her body became rounder, softer.
It has taken me a while to come to grips with all of these changes. The floppy crepey skin everywhere really appalls me. Oh well. Yes, I do accept the changes of aging. I've never had a perfect body, never stressed about having one. My body weight has always varied, and I have dieted off and on. But my skin was always pretty taut, the floppy fat not too bad. But things have changed. Not just the "it's harder to lose weight" thing. .... all of a sudden everything has "dropped"....and I am not doing anything different. Should I? I mean maybe I should - just for the experiment of it! I have searched and searched for pictures of elderly women who are in shape. I've found some Jack Lalane type men, but no women. Is it possible for any woman to keep good muscle mass after age 55? and if she is in good shape, does she still have crepey skin? and do the women who are taking hormones have better musclemass? I do know that my mother took high doses of estrogen (no progesterone, premarin only) until she was 79, whereupon she got breast cancer and they took her off the estrogen. Within 3 months my sexually active, tight skinned, robust and active happy mother turned into a dried up depressed no interest in sex and confused, very very old woman. Did you know that if you were to lie in bed for a month (or is it 2 weeks? anyway, it's not a long time!) you would lose 25% of your muscle mass? That's a lot of muscle!
Exercise makes me feel good. It keeps my bones strong, it gives me flexibilty, it gives me stamina. And it really elevates my mood. So I think it is important. It is the INTENSITY of that exercise that I am questioning here. Is it worth it? Am I using this as an excuse to be lazy? To relax? Are there any studies on it? How different can exercise change the appearance of the elderly body? What do you think? How are you dealing with aging? What bugs you the most? What are your results - pro or con?
Please do not think I am obsessed by this. I am not. My body right now is a bit overweight and out of shape. I haven't exercised in over a month. For my own personal well being and state of mind I need to get back to my routine. But I've just been thinking about it alot and I think it is a topic that is never covered totally honestly. It's not just about vanity. It is so much than that.
As I type this my DH just took a picture of me. My nose is drooping. MY NOSE! My cute naturally tiny little nose - now the tip is...droopey. Gross!

UHU Review

This is a more in depth review of UHU 2 part epoxy. I used the epoxy to hold the bails on my pendants. I used the epoxy on my first glass pendants back on Nov. 28th. Yesterday i pulled on one of these bails and it came off easily. But this is not the epoxy's fault.... my BAIL i had made was inferior and the receiving glass had not been sanded to allow a proper receiving edge, as in the instructions. (lesson - DO NOT CUT CORNERS!) I had made bails out of pmc paper. This time I used aanraku ready made bails that were much heavier and also had a well to hold the glue. I roughed up the back of the glass where the bail was to go with a bit of sand paper. i also CAREFULLY measured the proportions of the 2 part epoxy. I applied the epoxy thickly and clamped the bail to the pendant with a small paper clamp. I cleaned up excess wet epoxy with nail polish remover. I allowed this to dry for 24 hrs. After unclamping the next day, the pendants were very stinky. After three days, the epoxy smell was gone! Three weeks later I pulled on a bail HARD and it would not come off. If you would like to receive full size samples of UHU adhesives, please follow this link! http://www.mariafilosa.com/
I don't usually use any glue to hold my glass/metal componets together, so this was quite an experiment for me. I gave 2 of the pendants to my sisters, who are actively wearing them so if the bails have any problems I will have the feedback. So far, so good! UHU 2 part epoxy was simple to use and appears quite strong!

ONE WORLD, ONE HEART EVENT GIVEAWAY.....

Aaaack. I was away helping move my dad into a retirement village and I lost internet access. I didn't realize I would be without it, so i wasn't able to let you know in advance that new posts would not be forthcoming. I was really enjoying posting "Gratitude for a Month", and Lord knows I have plenty to be grateful for, but now that i am back online....I'm just not in the mood. How pathetic is that? I'm tired and crabby and totally beaten up ...my frame of mind, that is.

OK, on to something a bit more cheery.

These are pics of the finished glass pendants I was making for the pendant swap. These are the new and improved ones. Yeah! I finally posted them! I made a few extras, so.......

I love the One World, One Heart event that I read about on Angie and the Kelly and then Shirley's blogs, so I thought I would do it too. Go to this link to read all about it and either sign up to have your own drawing and/or get links other blogs you can check out and maybe win there too!: http://oneworldevent.blogspot.com/2008/01/this-years-event-information.html

All you have to do is comment to this post and on Feb. 14th I will have a drawing for one of the pendants. Please do not comment anonymously, because it is too hard to track you down to get your address if you are the winner. But if you do, you'll have 3 days to send me your info or I'll pick a new winner! Good luck!

Moving My Dad... VERY LONG! ...and no pics...what kind of bonehead takes no pictures?

OK. This is a whine session. Read at your own risk.

Moving my dad to a retirement village was an exhausting experience - both physically and emotionally. I thought I would just show up, pack his personal belongings, call the movers and move him. But it was so much more than that. He is 87 years old and the move was his idea. Originally he was getting all new furniture, except for his bedroom set - but he changed his mind and cancelled the furniture delivery before he moved, so the move became a lot more work. He had said he didn't want to bring his old equipment etc, but at the last minute he wanted to take everything - including tons of sentimental "junk". So we packed it all up and let the movers move it all. Poor dad! He had a stroke about 6 years ago and walks slowly with a cane and needs to sit a lot and the movers moved all the furniture and he had to be banished to an old sofa. Of course, I never thought to arrange for him to stay with one of my sisters so that he wouldn't be there, underfoot, as we tried to pack him up and then set up his new apartment. It would have been terrific for him to have just been brought to his new apartment with all of the "bugs" already worked out. Oh, did I mention he has hearing aids and even with them on is almost completely deaf? You have to be sure he is looking at you and sort of yell, and he still gets the communication wrong. Very frustrating for him and others. So moving was excruciating for dad. He seemed to have no concept of time and everything was taking too long. He tried to help and it was all we could do to be understanding and patient. Exasperating is a word that comes to mind.
Anyway, my dad moved to Fairfield, Ca, to "Paradise Valley Estates" - a retirement village for retired military officers and their spouses. The average age here is 80. The complex has homes, apartments, assisted living apatments and full care facilities. I had never seen anything like this! There is a gym, a 24hr a day staffed wellness and health center, a pool, gated staffed security gate, tons of organized clubs and outings. They have emergency pull cords everywhere, they wear those emergency alert pendants in case of an accident and they are required to press a flashing button before noon everyday or else security comes to check on them and make sure they are all right. They provide transportation to doctor appointments and shopping, Travis Air Force base as well as plays, the opera, etc. It is a HUGE place - lots of staff, full maintenance crew to help out and no tipping allowed. The main dining room is a 5 star restaurant with wait staff, full menu and incredible gourmet food. there's also a cafe with home cooked style meals and a "lounge". A theatre, meeting rooms....it goes on and on. You can walk to the main complex or be picked up by bus. And it is beautifully maintained to boot!I wish my dad had moved there when my mother was alive...she would have loved it! As one resident told me "no one ever leaves here willingly".
So the move, although chaotic, went fine. My dad has a 5 foot 700 lb safe that was stuffed with his coin collection and papers, old pics etc. The movers were to move the safe too, so I had to empty it. B ut dad couldn't exactly remember how to open it. We had the combination, but not the turning sequence. After many many tries and a call to the safe company we finally got it open. As it turned out, the safe was bolted down and the bolts had to be cut to move it, so they couldn't move it, so I had to RELOAD all of the items back into the safe to keep them safe. Then we had to arrange for the safe company to come and move it and reinstall it the following Monday. Unload, reload, unload, reload. Unpacking everything after the move and reconnecting computers, TV's, phones, etc was a nightmare - especially since we didn't bring his old ugly heavy desk - it was too big for his new apartment - and had to buy a new one, which meant we couldn't set up his beloved "office" right away. My sister Gina came down from Washington to help me - we hadn't realized how much help my dad would need once he moved in. YEAH GINA! The telephone connections didn't work, the safety handlebars in the bathroom were set at the wrong angles for him, he needed a new handicapped "higher" toilet installed, his parking spot did not allow for him to open his drivers side door all the way to get out of the car(yes-he still drives- he actually passed the driving part of the license renewal test), his storage area was on the 2nd floor, he needed to be taught how to use the new appliances in the apartment, the kitchen floor was too slippery for him, he had to be shown over and over again where eveything was in his apartment as well as in the complex itself. He needed everything to be virtually the same set up he had had for 20 years at the old house - heaven forbid he had to sleep on "mom's side" of the bed....so his bedroom set had to be reversed after it had been set up by the movers-he didn't realize the set up he chose put him on the wrong side to get to the bathroom quickly (we're talking a huge heavy Calif king bed, 3 matching 7 ft bookcases, a dresser with 2 mirrors, a chair and a large standing dresser) This also meant the cable for the TV as well as the telephone jack was on the wrong side of the room, and nothing could be connected until we had bought 40 foot cables to accommodate the change. Now my dad lives for his TV, so being TV less for a day did not sit well -OH NO! no "Wheel of Fortune". We hadn't found a new desk for him, and so his office wasn't set up yet and tus he didn't have everhything handy to pay his bills and make his phone calls....and all of this disoriented him terribly. All those little things and adjustments that are no big deal to you and me but are huge in the eyes of the elderly. He was miserable. He had lost his routine and was confused. We just didn't realize how difficult all of this change would be on him. My sister found him in his new walk-in closet .....crying ..... he didn't think he would fit in and he missed his old friends and all of the "new" was overwhelming to him. Where would he go if he didn't like it here? On that 1st saturday after moving my sister Lori and my brother Al came up to help out. Lori spent the night and helped empty boxes and set up dad's clothes in his dresser organize his belongings. Thank you thank you Lori! (and Al!)
....and to think, we all thought we could move him one day, spend a day or two with him to get him acquainted with his new surroundings, and then leave. HAH! WHAT WERE WE THINKING?
Dad bought a new computer since his was an obsolete, slow, awful 1999 model.... my brother-in- law Mark tried to set it up (thank you God, for St. Mark) but the stupid computer, right out of the box, did not work! He worked with Compaq customer service, but it turns out it had a harddrive problem, so we took it back. In between all of this, we had to find new doctors and take him to meet them , show him where banks, stores, etc, were and buy him a new wardrobe. The restaurant at "Paradise Valley Estates" requires you to dress up for dinner. We bought him new underewear, new tee shirts, dinner jackets, shirts, dress pants and dress jackets. They didn't fit. He is not the size he says he is. So we took everything back and had him try everything on. He did look gorgeous though when we were done. We'd also forgotten all of the basics he would need when one sets up a new apartment - new wastebaskets, drinking glasses, dishes, hampers, new linens, bathroom rugs, etc. ...and what about basics like, uh, putting in for change of address with banks, credit cards, utilities, etc. ...all things we'd forgotten to take care of in advance!
It was not fun. Too much to do, too little time. When the new desk arrived I tried to put it together. Hah! What a joke! All I had was a regular screwdriver. Was I crazy? I got as far as 2 screws and then paid 2 men who took 4 hrs with power tools to put it together. We never got all of his framed pictures put up - he had about 40 to go all over his office. (Next time we visited, we promised).
On the following saturday my sister Gina had to go home (she'd been there 10 days!), so we went over everything one last time with dad and my brother Al came to spend the day with him while my sister and I went back to the old house where my son had arrived with his truck and a friend to pack up a bedroom set. We took my sister to the airport and then i bought 2 small bookcases for his office to put more of his papers and equipment on and I also bought a longer printer cable, and a telephone splitter cable. We then drove back to my dad's new apt in Fairfield (45 miles) and Sky and his friend assembled the book cases for me and I was able to get his computer, fax, printer and and telephone line up and running ...ME....Electronically challenged ME! It was pouring rain and I was so tired and grateful for Sky to be doing all the driving. Oh - did I mention it rained EVERY day I was in there, including move day?
We said our goodbyes to my dad and Sky, his friend and I went back to the old house and began cleaning it and packing up the stuff my dad didn't take with him. Tons of old papers, momentos, pictures and knick knacks - all of those priceless things not really of any value to anyone except those who knew where the object came from and the memories behind them. It was very very difficult to make the decisions of what to box up and what to keep. I had a 6:45 am flight to come home on monday morning and the real estate agent had arranged for painters to paint the inside of the house after I left, and it was a DISASTER from all the moving. I had hoped to get back to the old house on Thursday, but my dad was so needy it just didn't turn out that way. On Sunday my youngest sister Teresa came over with her son and her fiancee and they all slaved away helping empty my moms china cabinet, etc so that the furniture my dad couldn't fit would be empty when the painters had to move it around so they could paint. Again, thank you God for all of her help! When the shuttle came to pick me up a 4:30 am the next morning, the house was finally back in order - mopped, scrubbed, vacuumed and packed.

So it is done. We hadn't intended to have to pack up so much after dad moved, but I guess it is all good because when the house sells there will be a lot less to do and empty. It was a grueling experience and I wish we had thought it out more and planned for it better. But hindsight is always....20/20. When I talked to Dad he had attended a reception held in his honor to introduce him his neighbors. ..... he had a blast! (not only that, on a previous night he went to dinner with his old friend Clete, who also lives in the compound, and 2 "ladies" - one "very pretty" - had sat down and joined them for dinner) ....

whew! this may just work out..........

GRATITUDE day 13

I am grateful for my job. I was very very lucky. I did not study film or even know what an Assistant Director was. At the time I was working for ATA, a talent Agency and I was an Accountant Assistant for the the Business Affairs Manager. I was married and had 2 sons, an infant and a toddler. That year I was asked by the talent agency to train to be an agent, I was accepted into a women's re entry advanced program at Cal State Northridge in Electronic Engineering and placement with a film robotics company, and I was accepted into the Directors Guild of America as a trainee. What a year that was! I accepted the DGA offer, was a paid trainee for 18 months, and when I finished the program I was a DGA guild member and was able to get hired on my first Union film job (Back To The Future) as a 2nd 2nd Assistant Director. (I'd explain, but the title is specific and complicated). Since then I have worked my way up to a 2nd Assistant Director and am now a 1st Assistant Director. This job has been very challenging and fulfilling and has given me incredible enhancements to my life as well as great freedom to live the lifestyle I choose. I also met my husband on the set of "Riptide". I like my job a lot and if I don't like the people on a particular job, i just don't take it! It's always evolving and ever changing and rarely boring. It amazes me the twists and turns life takes when you least expect it. I just fell into this job - another gift from heaven - and I have never looked back.

Prayers, please ....and Gratitude, Day 12

Today the "Ju Ju King", Julian Avery, moved on to a better place. He was 4 1/2 yrs old and had a devastating brain cancer that had spread to his spine. His mother Mimi kept an amazing blog at http://www.carepages.com/. You have to sign up for care pages, but when you do, his care page is Julian's World. His mama Mimi and her family need all of your prayers and positive energy that you can send.
I have only been following little Julian's plight for about 2 weeks, a gift from Kelly Snelling, and I have been very moved by the experience. I did not even know that such "care pages" existed. Little Julian truly touched my heart and opened my eyes to a world we all like to ignore, but one that is so needy of our support., our listening, our prayers.
Thank you, Ju Ju King! Please smile down on all of us and gift us with just an ounce of your courage, your strength, your love! Have a Great New Life! The world will truly be a less bright without your shining gem.
...so for Gratitude Day 12, I am grateful to Julian and his mama Mimi who have taught me so much in such a short time. ....and I am truly grateful to God for gifting me with my own two boys who are adults now, strong and healthy. Our children are such amazing gifts. .. as Mimi would say, over and over....kiss you children. NOW! Hold them. Smell them. Love them. Take them for who they are and let that be enough.

Gratitude Day 11

Shopping...as in stores - places to find what I want- competitive prices-no shipping!. Hawaii is a beautiful place to live, but the shopping is dismal. Golden paints? No Way! There is no Michael's, no Joann's, no Hobby Lobby, no glass shop, no nothing. We have Walmart, K-mart and a Franklin Crafts (in the Ace hardware) and that is it. Everything has to be ordered mail order, and the shipping to here is astronomical! What I'd give for a good bead store! We have 2 fabric stores with nice fabrics, but almost no notions! Very frustrating! I spent about 6 months a while back in Arizona, and although this is not a place I would ever pick to live, I have to say the shopping was phenomenal! I have never seen so many huge mini malls - on just about every corner! ...and unbelievable close-out stores - you know, the kind where Saks, Nieman Marcus, etc send their leftovers and the labels are cut out. And multiple art stores, and thrift stores and dollar stores! No point on the day after Thanksgiving getting up for a a great sale here , nor the day after Christmas. Oh they say its a sale, but it's just the same-o same-o. Kauai has made some progress, however. A year and a half ago we got a Starbucks and a Jamba Juice. (Now we have 3 on the island!) and last year we got Costco.....mmmmm good cheap, Pizza!
But I am grateful when I am working somewhere where I can go into a real art store and pick out real supplies that I just MUST have.
Of course, I oppose kitzy commercial development here on the island - I like it wild and primitive. But I do appreciate good shopping and am grateful and can go somewhere else and get a shopping fix when I need it!

Gratitude Day 10

Today I am grateful for modern over the counter medicines. I had the most horrendous headache this morning...probably caffeine withdrawal! I just popped 2 aspirins and it helped tremendously. and then I got to thinking about all of the over the counter medicines that really ease our life. They don't necessarily cure - but they ease the symptoms, and for the most part are easy to obtain. I rarely take anything but it is so nice to get relief when I really need it. Or how about a nasal decongestant when you have a stuffy nose and can't breathe? Or neosporin for a cut, or chocolate when you feel depressed? ...what? that's not a medicine?....how about Starbucks? or new shoes?.....my, we are spoiled, aren't we?

Gratitude Day 9

I am very very grateful to have been born in America. Yes, things are a bit wacky right now, but how fortunate we all are.....This is a good reminder to me to not take any of the privileges I have for granted and to pay attention to what is going on, how it's taking place, why it is happening, and who is doing it, during this election year, so that our freedoms, our environment, and our integrity is kept intact. (or reinstated or strengthened, as the case may be). This post is not meant to be a political statement, but it is important to be informed and aware and cautious....

Gratitude Day 8

My last post was actually for Monday, but I did not have computer access. Here's one for today.
I am grateful for my brain.
I am excellent at making decisions and seeing the whole picture. I intuitively assess a situation and how a decision one way or the other will ultimately effect an outcome way down the road. I have a great sense of priorities and timeliness. At work I am incredibly organized and I can multitask very effectively. As a matter of fact the more complexities I am dealing with at once, the more fun I am having. It is important to me to plan to great detail, yet I am flexible enough that even without any notice, I can scrap that plan and wing it. I am calm, quick and inventive in emergencies. I may fall apart later, but during a crisis I come through and make decisions that must be made, because they must be made, now! I love fitting in all the little pieces of the puzzle to make the best whole. Because I see all sides, I am also very , um, ...just. which can get me into trouble when one of my big bosses wants me to do something that I consider...unjust. I'm a big advocate of fair and honest and loyal, too. When I was a kid I was always told I was way too "gullible"....but that's another story.
I always did well in school and was blessed to be one of those people who did not have to struggle - for the most part I just always got it. (OK, in college I just couldn't get the basics of genetics, i got an A in the lab, and the only D I ever got in school, for the class. I just could not get THAT!) I could always (and still can) cram the night before, and retain the info. I test well, guess well, and write convincing essays on subjects I may know nothing about.
Now at home, I am a mess. I am disorganized and getting anything done (especially art) takes me forever. I am quite the opposite of my work ethic. I don't do it on purpose. when there is no pressure,...there is no pressure...i just do not create that "work" atmosphere at home. I stand down, I do not need to be in charge anymore. I forget things, where I put them what I'm doing. I lose total track of time. My DH says I am a bit ....ditzy. He likes my silly side. At night sometimes I have a hard time shutting my brain down - i waste(?) a lot of time thinking, thinking thinking.
I am very thankful for my brain...it has been a very good brain to me..... tirelessly it works on, despite it's derelict and neglectful owner...

Gratitude Day 7

Today I am grateful for my height. I am 5' 9" and it has been very handy! I can reach the top shelf, I can run fast, and best of all, when I gain weight, I can hide it really well! I have always liked being tall!

Gratitude Day 6

This is my sweetheart. The neighbors had lit a fire and the smoke looked beautiful in the sunlight. he's standing at our front gate.
This morning he brought me coffee in bed, then he called me in our shop to tell me lunch
was ready, and then he made me the loveliest dinner - he's quite a gourmet cook - rib eye steak with burgundy sauce, string beans with red onion and mushrooms, and a baked potato. He is very artistic and before he retired he was a director of photography, who did metal machining and lathe work as a hobby. He is very creative and artistic and is one of those men who can fix anything, and is a perfectionist about it. He can rebuild a carburetor, or overhaul my computer.

I am grateful for my wonderful husband. He is my obsession, my addiction. ..he even reads to me almost every night ...until i fall asleep!
This is a crab spider. Next to it is something it has caught and is eating. They come in every color imaginable! - but they are very small. This is a rather large one, probably only about 1/2 an inch. They come this time of year, every year, and last until june or so. Around April they become so profuse that I have to walk around the gardens and the trees and knock the webs down so my DH and I don't get entangled in them when we mow and clean up the yard.

...and this is just a fun texture photo i took from our lanai

Gratitude Day 5

I am grateful for my life situation. Call it God's plan, fate, destiny, the life story I wrote for myself when I came into this world or just plain luck - I stumbled into an amazing job, I live in one of the most gorgeous places on the planet and I am secure and happy... and if I lost it all tomorrow - oh well, that's life. I am flexible and adaptable and a survivor. I don't take any of my blessings for granted - but I am very very thankful for all of them.

Today I went back to the "glass heart" idea for my pendants. They are still in the kiln - I will peak at them tomorrow.
It was another beautiful day here....a bit of the tradewinds...i trimmed the neighbor's overgrown oleander off of our fence today (about 200 feet worth!) . If it's not too windy tomorrow DH and I will take a long motorcycle ride into town.

APOLOGY!...and Gratitude Day 4

I am so sorry for that awful music that inadvertently somehow ended up on my blog.
Thank you for calling it to my attention. I hope it didn't scare anyone away....

OK- Gratitude Day 4
This is along the same lines as yesterday and is mainly the reason for my wonderful childhood and also the reason I am who I am.

My mama.

An amazing,warm, loving, compassionate, sarcastic, funny, imaginative, artistic, beautiful, tireless and courageous over achiever who believed and defended her convictions, fought for the underdog and who could turn no person in need away. She believed and taught that every woman needed to be self sufficient and dependent on only themselves. There are consequences to all your actions, and good or bad, if you did it, you alone own the consequence. It is OK to be quirky. Have faith. Follow your dreams, your heart, your soul....turn to God for help, and when all else fails, try God again.
oh, she was also a firm believer in the occasional use of ....ay dios mio and manana.
she liked to swear, too.

The Saga of the Glass Eyeballs continues....

Here are the finished eyeballs. I don't need any sympathy here, I knew better. It is all a learning experience, so I will go over what I learned and what i can do different the next time. Of course, the pendants that are due in 3 weeks may end up being made out of something other than glass because I won't have my kiln available to me starting next week....
This photo shows how they turned out in general, and also the 2 that blobbed together. When I did my first fusingI had one layer of background glass and i topped it with a circle of white. At this time I should have added the dichroic crescents and it would then have melted into the yellow in one layer. Then when I capped them with clear, i might have avoided the huge and numerous bubbles. The yellow background glass I do not like. It turns a muddy yellow green with uneven browning on the edges. Yes, some of them do look like eyeliner, but some of them just look sloppy. I need to take pieces of all my glass and TEST them in the kiln to see if the color changes. Glass does that - what you see is NOT what you get. The white glass I used was just something I had. My original eyeball prototype used Wasser 90 COE precut circles. Although that glass also spread, it melted evenly and kept its shape. Notice how after 2 firings the whites of the eye are completely misshapen. Wasser white glass is also whiter, cleaner looking. These are sort of dullish white (like half cooked egg whites).

Here's a close up. I could have lived with the unintentional bubbles, but the distortion of the whites is totally unacceptable. They look really amature. (which I am!). Also, some of the dichroic I used left edge marks - easily solved by lightly beveling the edges when I was grinding them - (but didn't do). And lastly, it is important to grind down the first fused shape to a uniform shape that matches the glass cap. Live and learn.....

So I will start anew. These are SCRAP!